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This just in:.......
The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 7. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkees, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemina delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded". Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart. He was known as a piece of cake. His second wife, Play Dough, survives Doughboy. They have two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes........
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